Today, there was so much sugar to be had, that our youngest (who, although she and I didn't go to church today because she's had a nasty cough, did not take a nap) was SO wound up. Matt was tickling her on the way home and she laughed a deep laugh from her gut. It was so cute, but you could really tell that she was beyond tired.
After we got home, the kiddos all got their pajamas on and I tucked them into bed. I walked, in the dark, down the hallway and around the corner into my room. The thought came to me that in the last four plus years, I've walked down this hall thousands of times. How much longer will I be able to call this house my home? How is everything going to come together for us to move to a neighboring state? I feel overwhelmed and lost. My faith is slipping. It's so easy just to say "If it's meant to be, it'll work out" but to really believe it is another thing all together. I am having a difficult time living in the present. One foot is in the past, the other in the future. Leaving my family, and the state where I grew up was never in my plans. When Matt and I bought our house, I thought we'd be here until our children graduated from high school. We brought our last baby home from the hospital here.
With each little hiccup in our plans, I begin to doubt our decision to move. Thank goodness Matt is steady and confident. He really deserves a change and to be able to move up to bigger and better things.
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