Lost

The third Sunday of the month is Birthday Sunday with my in-laws.  We get together, enjoy dinner and catch up on what is going on with everyone. Those celebrating birthdays get to blow out candles on cake, cupcakes, or some other dessert.  My children love Birthday Sunday.    

Today, there was so much sugar to be had, that our youngest (who, although she and I didn't go to church today because she's had a nasty cough, did not take a nap) was SO wound up.  Matt was tickling her on the way home and she laughed a deep laugh from her gut.  It was so cute, but you could really tell that she was beyond tired.

After we got home, the kiddos all got their pajamas on and I tucked them into bed.  I walked, in the dark, down the hallway and around the corner into my room.  The thought came to me that in the last four plus years, I've walked down this hall thousands of times.  How much longer will I be able to call this house my home?  How is everything going to come together for us to move to a neighboring state?  I feel overwhelmed and lost.  My faith is slipping.  It's so easy just to say "If it's meant to be, it'll work out" but to really believe it is another thing all together.  I am having a difficult time living in the present.  One foot is in the past, the other in the future.  Leaving my family, and the state where I grew up was never in my plans.  When Matt and I bought our house, I thought we'd be here until our children graduated from high school.  We brought our last baby home from the hospital here.  

With each little hiccup in our plans, I begin to doubt our decision to move.  Thank goodness Matt is steady and confident.  He really deserves a change and to be able to move up to bigger and better things.  

 

The ''G" Family

As an amateur photographer, there is nothing that makes me happier than photographing families; that's my love and passion.  I believe that every family should be able to have their photograph taken without it costing an arm and a leg.  I realize that I'm not the greatest photographer out there, not even close.  I know I don't fit everyone's style and that is okay.   But I must fit this family okay because this was the 4th time I've been able to do their pictures and I just love being able to spend time with this beautiful family. "The Mom" of this family is a wonderful person and I am happy to call her my friend.  As I finished this session, their youngest daughter came up to me and gave me a great big hug and said "Come to my birthday!"  I felt so honored that she'd say that and be that comfortable with me.  It really made my day. 

Conference Weekend

I so enjoyed Conference weekend, but it really wore me out.
 Saturday, we began by cleaning out our garage in preparation for our impending move (which, by the way, may or may not be official... I know.   It stinks.  We should know more by the middle of November).  So we organized, boxed and cleaned things up so that when we do move, we just have to move the things from the garage into the moving truck.  

The second session was a bit more relaxing, and we were better able to listen to the Lord's leaders and feel of the spirit.   That night, I got to spend a rare night out with most of my sisters, one of my cousins, a niece, and my mom. We'd planned on going to the Olive Garden, but with every woman in Utah County out on a girl's night, the wait was over an hour.  So we went to Mimi's Cafe where there really wasn't a wait at all.  Awesome.  We talked, laughed, and really just had a good time.  So much in fact that when dinner was through and we headed back to my parents house, I just didn't want to leave.  So, we talked and laughed some more.  One of the funniest moments was when my mom said "Gee!"  That may not seem funny to you, but growing up, slang like that just wasn't allowed in our house.  Saying gosh, darn, goll, gee, holy cow, etc., etc., just wasn't allowed. So I thought it was was pretty amusing.
I did eventually go home and went to bed.  The next morning I got up to make cinnamon rolls because my family was coming over for breakfast and to watch the morning session of conference.

I'd made the dough the day before, but it always takes longer than I think it will to roll and cut all the rolls- I made about 70 of them. Along with the rolls, I made a spinach mushroom frittata with swiss cheese and bacon especially for my dad because he has diabetes and those cinnamon rolls were forbidden.  My brother Brady brought sausage and made yummy cheesy hash browns.  My parents brought fruit and my sister, KayKay brought milk, chocolate milk, and orange juice.  It really was quite the spread, and so delicious.

After the morning session was over, everyone left.  Our house was quiet and my children were bored having no aunts or uncles around to play with them.  I laid Sadie down for a nap, and let the other children play quietly while I listened to the last session while I got ready for some family pictures in the evening.  General Conference is a time for me to reflect on my life and evaluate what needs to be changed.  Sometimes, I feel uplifted and ready to do more, other times, like this one, I feel chastised and ashamed at my lack of conviction.  But yesterday, along with the feeling of being rebuked, I also felt hope.  I can try harder and do better.  Certainly, I'm not alone, and I'm not an awful human being as my inner-critic would sometimes have me believe.   But there are things to do better, things to change to make me who I was born to be.

At about 4:15, we left the house to meet Matt's family for some family pictures.  We drove about 9 miles up Diamond Fork Canyon to an area that was just beautiful with leaves.  We got a lot of pictures done, but the light faded fast and then it got really cold.  So we didn't last very long.   It was good though to be together with so much family yesterday.

I "shot" a buck!

For Labor Day, my family went to a cabin in the mountains that is owned by my brother-in-law's family.  It's beautiful up there and I didn't want to come home after we'd been there for 2 1/2 days.   It just wasn't long enough.  My reality has been a bit crazy lately and it was nice to get away.

 In true Crystal fashion, I had my camera practically glued to my hands the entire time I was there and got some fun shots.  One of the ones that I liked the most was one of a buck that I got.  I had to go chasing it because one of the kids scared him a bit.  To be honest, I really just wanted to be able to say that I "shot" a deer without having to actually kill it.  He really was pretty.  I also got some shots of a doe that kept wandering around the cabin.  I felt bad for these animals.  It's only September and they already looked too skinny to survive the winter.  I could see their ribs under their fur.

My Buck

And the doe

Matt attempting to shoot at me with a marshmallow gun.  He may or may not have actually got me.

We played around a lot, hung out a lot, ate good food and enjoyed being with family.  Matt enjoyed teasing me as would be the norm.  Sometimes, his teasing bothers me, but if he didn't tease me, then I'd think something was wrong.  :)

View of the valley where we were staying

I took three of my children and a nephew on a little hike one morning.  When we got to the top of a hill, I took a picture of this little valley.  Doesn't it look so peaceful?  I wore all the kids out as we went about 2 miles, mostly uphill.  My backside was a bit sore the next day.

Red Leaves

Little Waterfall

Me and my family enjoying a four-wheeler ride

Bird

My two youngest and Me and my father-in-law in the background

We really had a great time getting away from it all for a couple days.  I only wished it could have lasted about a week longer.  On our way home, Matt and I had fun dreaming up a fabulous cabin that we love to have built when we're filthy rich.  We'd invite family over for week-long sleepovers and take our children and grandchildren there for Christmas.  Someday. . . 

The "M" Kiddos

The "M" kiddos are a lively bunch, and such a delight to work with.  They had talents that they wanted to highlights and I found it to be a lot of fun as well as a challenge because it's not something I've done a lot of.

Baby C

I was trying so hard to post regularly so that when I move to Colorado, I'd be able to keep my family and friends updated on what we're doing. Obviously, that's not going so well.  But I have pictures to share! I was able to replace my camera, thanks to so many good friends and clients who supported my $75 photo sessions. I've had more sessions this Fall than I think I've ever had.  It's been wonderful; thank you!

I'd like to introduce you to little Baby C.  He is such a precious little guy; I really could have just held him all day long.

Chicken Fajitas

I used to have a food blog before I stared using this one, but I have a few recipes from the old one that I'm going to be posting here because they're good, and I want them all in one place- especially for family that want a specific recipe or whatever.

Several years ago, my sister-in-law Katie, emailed me this recipe from cooks.com.  I am so glad that she did! The chicken is spicy (you can cut down on the spiciness by reducing the amount of Mrs. Dash that you put in it) sweet, moist, and flavorful wrapped in a warm tortilla and kept company with with likes of garden fresh tomatoes, crisp lettuce and creamy guacamole made with cilantro, lime juice and red onion.

4 boneless skinless chicken breasts

1/4 stick of butter

1 cap full Mrs. Dash (regular or chipotle)

1 large onion

1 green pepper

1/4 cup brown sugar

lettuce, tomato, sour cream, guacamole, cheese, tortillas

Slice chicken in to long strips and place in pan with half of the butter and all of the Mrs. Dash that you desire. Cook until the chicken is done and lightly browned.  Stir in a small about of water or chicken broth and the brown sugar.  Cook until caramelized.

Chop the peppers and onions into strips and rings, sauté in a separate skillet with the remaining butter.  Cook until onions are caramelized and peppers have crispy edges. 

I like to bring all the elements of the dinner to the table and let everyone create their own fajita according to their likes.  It's and easy, tasty meal that comes together quickly and is truly satisfying. 

Photo-Shoot Offer

We had a fantastic trip to Disneyland last week, and I'm so excited to share my pictures from our vacation.  Before I do, however, I have an offer to make.  My camera went missing on our second to last day of our trip and in order to replace it, I'm offering pre-paid photo shoot coupons.  You prepay for the coupon and I will begin booking sessions after August 15, 2012, and will go until November 30, 2012.   If you'd like to view my work from previous sessions, please visit crystalshelley.com.  

The End of an Era

Today marks the end of an era for Matt especially, but also for the rest of our little family.  Ten years ago in September of 2002, Matt, just two months home from his LDS mission, and two months from marrying me, began working for a small computer selling company named Bridge Technologies.  His job was to deliver computers all over Utah and Salt Lake counties, and to do odd little jobs that no one else was interested in doing i.e. fixing the swamp cooler, cleaning out the attic, sweeping floors, you get the picture.  Because of his remarkable way with all things technological, Matt moved from delivery boy to technician fairly quickly.  

During this time, we'd gotten married, gotten pregnant (a few times) and had quite the family.  Matt had been spared being laid off a few times with the ups and downs of the business and was working his hardest to get a college degree in criminal justice.

He graduated in the spring of 2008, just a year after our third child was born.  In anticipation of graduation, Matt had applied for a position with the county jail as they had plans to expand. He made it through the background check, the polygraph, the physical tests, the written tests all with flying colors.  The county had offered him a position, ordered his uniforms and got him registered for police academy. 

At the same time, an outside sales rep at Bridge was leaving.  Barry- the owner of Bridge offered Matt that position and it was an offer that was far better than anything that the County was offering.  After much prayer, fasting and even a blessing, Matt chose to stay with Bridge.  

Things were better for us financially then they had been our entire married life, we had a pretty good year.  We bought a home in a nice neighborhood and thought things were going to be great.  Then, with the downfall in the economy, Bridge found itself on the verge of bankruptcy.  The company downsized and tried to make it with just a small percentage of the once thriving business.  VLCM (pronounced Valcom) a Salt Lake City based business decided to essentially buy Bridge out and assimilate their employees to make an Orem based office.  Matt, no longer an outside sales rep found himself working for another company, and another position without ever having left Bridge.  Matt took a pay cut to stay with VLCM and looked at changing jobs several times with no luck.

Here we are, three stressful years later.  We've had another child-our last. We've been through some trying situations that really have shaken us to the core. And we're getting ready to face one of the biggest changes of our married lives besides having children.  Matt has once again been moved up to be an outside sales rep, this time in Colorado as you well know.   He's worked with Barry for the last 10 years, and now, no more.  Beginning July 1, Matt will be commuting to the SLC office so he can begin his training for his position in Colorado.  

Barry has done a lot for us, and Matt is going to miss working with him, but it's time for a change, time to move up from beneath Barry so Matt can spread his wings.  It, like a lot things right now, is bittersweet.  Barry, thanks for everything.  Thanks for giving Matt a chance and for keeping in on when you could have let him go.   Thanks for the last ten years. 

Denver Update

You may or may not have heard that we got our official offer to work in Denver.  Funny that I always say "we" when I really just mean Matt.  Matt got his official offer from VLCM to work in Denver.  Initially we thought that we'd be moving before school started in the fall so we wouldn't have to switch schools in the middle of the school year (again the "we" thing, of course I really mean so the kids wouldn't have to switch schools), but VLCM would like us to move by Jan. 1, 2013.  For the time being, we've taken that to mean that we'll be moving the weekend after Christmas.
What a time to be moving across the Rockies into Colorado.  I'm hoping that we'll have a mild December and the roads won't be too bad.  Driving makes me nervous, let alone over icy, snowy mountain passes.  But as far as school goes, it's a good time to switch with the long holiday break I guess.

Moving to another state has me scared for a lot of reasons.  I LOVE being so close to my family and to Matt's family.  My ward here has been wonderful and I've got some really great friends.  I was talking with Matt's uncle and mentioned that I was scared.  He asked what I was most scared of.  Reluctantly, I told him I was afraid no one would like me.  I am terrified I won't fit in and I'll be so homesick.  I'm not worried about my kids, they are so affable and friendly.  They keep talking about finding and making new friends.  I'm not worried about Matt either.  He has to go out and meet people; that's his job.  What am I going to do with myself?  I know that things can work out, I'm just nervous about it all.  It's a lot more real now.  But, I've got 6 more months to enjoy what I have here.

Wreck This Journal

According to my own page numbering system in my Wreck this Journal, on page 214 it says to Ask a friend to do something destructive to this page. Don't Look.  Well, I took the idea a bit further and asked Matt to run over it with the van.  I looked though. Just as he go to where the front wheel was right on top of the journal, he turned the wheels.  My poor book.

Broken Book

We went to Hobby Lobby to see if they had any fun duct tape that I could cover the spine of my book with.  Of course they did.  I picked this bright pink zebra print.  It's not something I'd normally pick out, but it looked fun.

Fun new binding

Not MY coffee, but my splatters. 

Another day, I was at the East Bay Golf Course.  My dad and brother run a catering business from there and every Wednesday during the school year, I go in and make brownies for two Challenger schools that they provide lunch for.  One of the days, as the brownies were cooling, Brady (my brother) asked if I'd clean the coffee pot.  Yay!  I was excited to clean out the coffee because I needed to splatter some coffee on this page, but I don't ever drink it.  I was happy with how the splatters turned out, and I really like the color. 

Katie's Napkin

One night, we had Matt's sister Katie and her family over for some BBQ and hot wings.  Katie asked if there was a page in my book she could have fun with.  Sure enough, there was a page with the dedicated use as a napkin.  She make good use of it, getting BBQ sauce and soda all over it.  It's a pretty nasty page, and I don't like to touch it.  But I love it because it literally had KT written all over it.

Britta and "T"

I haven't posted any pictures for awhile, and today, I have photos from two shoots to share.  The first shoot was of my darling baby sister, Britta.  She's graduating from high school this month (sniff, sniff) and I got to take her senior pics.  I am going to miss this sweet girl; she's been a great friend to me and my children. Not only are we moving out of state later this year, but she's moving away from home to go to school.  Change once again rears it's ugly, albeit, necessary head.  Grrrr.  I really will miss her.  But I digress.  I love her how her pictures turned out.

Beautiful Britta

I love her eyes in this shot.

For just a bit, the sun snuck behind some
clouds and gave me some softer light for this shot. 

I love this girl, she is truly beautiful inside and out.

The second group of pictures are those of a darling little boy, "T", who just celebrated his first birthday.  I enjoyed taking his pictures so much, he was cute and chill.  I feel like I really haven't had the opportunity to take many pictures lately, and these two session were good therapy.  Photography is an area where I feel so mediocre at times, so it was nice to have some success.  

"T" and his beautiful Mama.

I loved his many expressions,
this is one of my favorites.

"T" was so content to just play with whatever was around.

The more serious side of "T".
Who couldn't love that face? He's precious.