Britta and "T"

I haven't posted any pictures for awhile, and today, I have photos from two shoots to share.  The first shoot was of my darling baby sister, Britta.  She's graduating from high school this month (sniff, sniff) and I got to take her senior pics.  I am going to miss this sweet girl; she's been a great friend to me and my children. Not only are we moving out of state later this year, but she's moving away from home to go to school.  Change once again rears it's ugly, albeit, necessary head.  Grrrr.  I really will miss her.  But I digress.  I love her how her pictures turned out.

Beautiful Britta

I love her eyes in this shot.

For just a bit, the sun snuck behind some
clouds and gave me some softer light for this shot. 

I love this girl, she is truly beautiful inside and out.

The second group of pictures are those of a darling little boy, "T", who just celebrated his first birthday.  I enjoyed taking his pictures so much, he was cute and chill.  I feel like I really haven't had the opportunity to take many pictures lately, and these two session were good therapy.  Photography is an area where I feel so mediocre at times, so it was nice to have some success.  

"T" and his beautiful Mama.

I loved his many expressions,
this is one of my favorites.

"T" was so content to just play with whatever was around.

The more serious side of "T".
Who couldn't love that face? He's precious.

Wreck This Journal

I've mentioned that for my birthday I received a different kind of journal titled Wreck This Journal.  The pages are filled with strange activities on how to literally wreck the journal.  The instructions are as follows:  

1. Carry this with you everywhere you go.  

2. Follow the instructions of every page.  

3. Order is not important.  

4. Instructions are open to interpretation.  

5. Experiment. (work against your better judgement.)

The first page with an instruction on it was to add my own page numbers, which I did with only even numbers beginning with two, ending in 364.

The second instruction was to break the spine of the book, which made me cringe.  I hated doing that. 

There was a page that instructed me to leave it blank on purpose. 

One said to Stand Here. (Wipe your feet, jump up and down.)  

Instructions: Stand here, jump up and down

For the instruction that said "Make a sudden, destructive, unpredictable movement with the Journal" I stuck the corner of the book in my mouth, bit down hard and my sister-in-law Katie played tug-of-war with me.  The poor Journal now has teethmarks in it that will never go away.

The Journal on a Walk

Yesterdays instruction was to tie a string around the book and take it on walk.  Drag it.  Done.  Scuff marks from the 1/2 mile I drug it for have made their indelible mark on the cover. 

Just out of the shower  

Then, because one of the instructions said to take it in the shower, and because it was pretty dirty having been drug along the road, into the shower it went.  I just stuck it in the back corner where it wouldn't get too wet.

Holes Poked

Today, I poked holes.  When I first got the book, I was so anxious about everything that it said to do, and I didn't think I could do most of it.  But now, my Journal seems like a friend that will go to hell and back with me and no matter what I put it through, it will be there for me.

My 31st Birthday

Another birthday has come and gone. I really can't believe that I've celebrated 31 of them.  My birthday celebrations began on Tuesday May 2.  At about 4:00 pm, the children and I picked up Matt from work and headed to Salt Lake.  He had to go to Denver for some meetings and would be home the next night.   We decided to go to the new City Creek Center.  My first impression of the place was very favorable.  As we pulled into the parking garage, I knew that a lot of care had gone into the building of the place.  Even the garage was beautiful.  It was bright and painted white and orange.  It felt like we were driving inside a building!  Plus the charge for parking was so reasonable.  The first hour was free, and under two hours was just $1.

I loved the atmosphere, it was just beautiful.  There is a little creek that divides the walkway and it's banks are lined with rocks, plants and trees.  I couldn't believe I was at a mall!  We made our way to the food courts for a bite to eat.  I just have to say that when we're out, I love to eat at the food courts because everyone can get just what they want.  Collin got pizza, the other children got Happy Meals from McDonald's.  I got a Santa Fe Salad (yum!) from Big Sal's and Matt got chinese food.  Happy day!  

We let the children play for a bit in the play area before we left.  Collin is beginning to get too tall for some little kids things and that is definitely a new experience for us.  But it will be a great thing for our trip to Disneyland (or Asparagus as we've taken to calling it in front of our children).

Outside, there was a water fall that we admired before sitting near a statue of animals native to Utah.  There was a Godiva Chocolate Shop and Matt insisted that I treat myself to something sinfully dark.  When I refused, he went in himself to see what he could find to spoil me with. While we were waiting for Matt, the children posed long enough for me to take a picture of their beautiful faces to post here.

I just love Sadie's smile.

Matt returned with a couple dark truffles for me, one was 86% dark chocolate...can you say Heaven?  Well I can.  It was truly divine.  He'd also gotten a peanut butter chocolate confection to share between him and our sugar-hungry birds who flocked to him as if they'd not eaten in days.  

After a quick stop at the Disney store, we left so Matt could catch his flight.  I paid close attention to how to get in and out of the airport as I'll be taking him again at the end of May, and picking him up as well.  Matt pulled up to the designated unloading area, gathered his things, kissed the children and I all good-bye.  As soon as he walked away, I missed him.  I'd see him again tomorrow, but man, it was going to be a long time until tomorrow night. 

It was time for pajamas when we got home.  The children got changed, and brushed their teeth. Our nightly ritual had begun.  Prayers were said and each child got to choose their own song for me to sing to them. Once they were all settled in for the night, I retreated to our family room with some paper and my colored pencils.  I began to draw while watching Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares and promptly fell asleep. I always struggle going to bed when Matt is gone.  I usually fall asleep on the couch or stay up past 1 am.  Or a combination of the two.  Matt called when he'd made it to Denver, and then I was awake so I began to draw some more.  At 10:30 he called again to say I'd better go to bed soon, and at 11:00, I was on my way.  

I had a rough time waking up the next morning.  Collin came in fairly early (six-ish?) to wish me a happy birthday. By 7:00 I think I was awake enough to crawl out of bed, but I wasn't happy about it.  The night before the children were trying to plan making me breakfast in bed and once they realized it wouldn't be the best idea without their dad to help them, they asked if I'd make them pancakes for my birthday.  Which I did.  They enjoyed them, very much.  I got lazy about putting things away until Sadie climbed onto the table and got into the sugar.  I have to be compelled to clean. 

Drawing in the sugar

I got a lot of love on Facebook and besides Matt, the first person to call me was my Pops.  I loved that.  If you read my other post just previous to this, you know that Matt called and had the children give me Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food from My Frontier. Love it.  I actually spend an hour just reading through all the delicious looking recipes, salivating at the pictures.  And you know that Stacey came by with a present as well.; my formerly hated, but now loved, Wreck This Journal.  My friend's sent her daughter over with a beautiful rose for me which was so sweet.  It felt good to be remembered.

There isn't much to say about the middle of the day because it wasn't out of the ordinary.  Around 5:00, we ran to K-Mart to get a present for a birthday party Collin was going to that night, and because I'm lazy, I stopped at Arctic Circle to get corn dogs, french fries and fry sauce.  If I hadn't specifically requested fry sauce, Annie would have had my head.  The children enjoyed their dinner, and then we had to rush to get Collin to his party. 

At 7:00, Matt's parents came to sit with my other three while I went to go pick up Matt and then go to dinner.  Matt's flight was going to be a bit longer than normal because he was going to be flying in a prop plane and was scheduled to be in at 8:00.

View of the propellers of the plane Matt flew in on.

By 7:40 though, he had landed and texted me to tell me so.  Luckily for him, I was already there.  He got in the car and handed me a wad of something.  I un-wadded it and discovered a very soft Mickey Mouse t-shirt.  Just a fun reminder of the trip we'll be taking in 1 month, 13 days 15 hours 4 minutes and 18, 17, 16... seconds from the time I'm writing this.  

We headed to Happy Sumo for some sushi!  I hadn't had sushi for nearly a year, and I was craving it.  I got a seaweed salad with squid (don't diss it until you try it, it's GOOD!)  Matt got a Sumo Sampler with some yummy new things to try (crab wontons, tempura fried peppers, pot stickers) then I got a Lavish Roll and Matt got a chicken dish.  I have to say, that while it was good, the roll wasn't my favorite.  From what I could tell, it wasn't wrapped in Nori which gives sushi rolls such a distinctive flavor.

It looks good though, doesn't it?

On the way home, Matt made an impromptu stop at Dairy Queen. He bought a Peanut Buster Parfait and a mini-blizzard with chocolate and caramel for me.  Because of the chocolates I'd eaten the day before, I didn't want to eat too much.  So I had a couple bites and that was good for me.  Matt couldn't finish his either, and we handed them off to Matt's parents when we got home.  I was pretty glad the day was over, it had been long.  I was so glad to have my Mattie home and in my arms instead of Colorado.  It'll be nice when he can go to Denver and only be 20 minutes away from me.  Some day. 

So, that was my birthday, and not exactly in a nutshell either. If it so happens that you're still reading you deserve a medal or something because I can be long-winded. 

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My Birthday Books

On Thursday, May 3, I celebrated my 31st birthday.  It was a strange morning.  My sweet husband was out of town on business, and while I'd been thinking that it wasn't a big deal, it was very strange not having him wake me up with a kiss and wish me a happy birthday. It threw my day off just a bit.

The kids were trying to plan a way to make me breakfast in bed, (the oldest is eight, honestly, the thought of my kids making breakfast for me alone terrifies me) but they decided instead that I should make them breakfast.  Whole wheat blender pancakes for them, a green smoothie for me.

Matt had ordered something from Amazon for me, and it was still in it's box under his desk when he left.  After breakfast, He face-timed us, and told the kids to "Go get that box and give it to mom."  I opened up the  box and there was the first book of my birthday: The Pioneer Woman Cooks: Food From my Frontier.  I love Pioneer Woman. I have her first book and her cinnamon roll recipe is my favorite, and I love, love, love her flat apple pie.  This second book has been on my wish list, but not for too long because I believe that it was published in March or April of this year.  But I am so excited to add it to my collection.

My second book came from my sister-in-law Stacey.  It's called Wreck This Journal.  It's a strange book. Each page has instructions on it on how to deface and basically wreck the journal.  I started reading through the bizarre pages and really wanted to cry.  I couldn't do those things to a book, but that's what its for.  So I am letting go of the perfectionist inside and I'm going to wreck the Journal, then go buy every book Keri Smith had ever thought up and follow whatever instructions she gives me. It's liberating.

My fourth book came on Saturday and was from my dear friends Rocky and Meagan.  It's called Colored Pencil Portraits by Ann Kullberg.  I really thought Matt was going to give this to me for my birthday because he'd asked about it. But I couldn't very well complain about Pioneer Woman and just resigned to getting the colored pencil book myself, eventually.  So when they gave me the book, I was very surprised.  And I can't wait to put some of Ann's techniques into my drawings.

My fourth book isn't technically a book, but it's a pad of colored Strathmore paper for my drawings that my parents gave me. I am excited to begin using it.

Released from Nursery

In the Spring of 2009, I was called to be a nursery leader.  I knew the call was coming because I was printing the ward bulletin and newsletter at the time and I tried to keep track of who had which callings so I could make note of the changes in the bulletin.  

I knew that that a nursery leader had been released a few weeks prior, and another one had not been called.  When I got the call that the Bishop wanted to meet with me I panicked and worried because the last place I wanted to be was in the nursery.  

Sure enough, I was indeed called to be a nursery leader.  I felt so put upon. How could I be losing the only time I had to be around other adult women during the week? The first few months were very hard, and those two hours each Sunday dragged on forever and ever. But as I began to get used to serving there, it wasn't so bad.  Some kids were beginning to get used to me and perhaps even like me.  I had friends who were called to serve with me and the time there didn't seem so lonely.  

In July of 2010 I gave birth to my last child and in October of that year I hit one of the darkest times of my life and had to deal with some serious depression. I felt confused about my calling, and not sure what to do.  A good friend told me "Surround yourself with perfect people, work in Primary."  I began to see my job in nursery as a real calling, not just one to keep people such as myself from enjoying church. 

As I began to see the importance of finding meaning in my calling I began to feel the Spirit bear witness to me of my Heavenly Father's love of me. When I'd tell those beautiful children that Jesus loved them and they were children of our Heavenly Father, and that families could be together forever, I felt my Savior's love for me. 

That's not to say that it was all easy now, there were still days that were difficult as there are when you're a parent.  You love your children, but some days are just hard. There would still be days when a child or children would come in crying and upset.  But there is nothing like having a child that has had a very difficult time coming to nursery gradually stop crying and be able to come into nursery without parents by his/her side every moment, to then enjoying being in nursery and even recognizing me in the halls or in Sacrament Meeting and smiling at me. 

Being able to hear a child pray for the first time in nursery was such a tender thing to hear.  Their prayers  are so sweet and innocent.  Kids may say and do the darnedest things but they really are sinless, beautiful children of our Heavenly Father.

Being called to nursery is not a means by which our Heavenly Father punishes us.  Christ said "Suffer the little children and forbid them not, for such is the kingdom of Heaven." I haven't always done my best in my calling, but those sweet children have taught me more then I've ever been able to teach them.

It's for that reason when I was released from my calling in the nursery on Sunday, even after three years there, it was bittersweet.  Dear children, I hope you know you are loved.  I hope and pray that what I was able to do was enough.