Released from Nursery

In the Spring of 2009, I was called to be a nursery leader.  I knew the call was coming because I was printing the ward bulletin and newsletter at the time and I tried to keep track of who had which callings so I could make note of the changes in the bulletin.  

I knew that that a nursery leader had been released a few weeks prior, and another one had not been called.  When I got the call that the Bishop wanted to meet with me I panicked and worried because the last place I wanted to be was in the nursery.  

Sure enough, I was indeed called to be a nursery leader.  I felt so put upon. How could I be losing the only time I had to be around other adult women during the week? The first few months were very hard, and those two hours each Sunday dragged on forever and ever. But as I began to get used to serving there, it wasn't so bad.  Some kids were beginning to get used to me and perhaps even like me.  I had friends who were called to serve with me and the time there didn't seem so lonely.  

In July of 2010 I gave birth to my last child and in October of that year I hit one of the darkest times of my life and had to deal with some serious depression. I felt confused about my calling, and not sure what to do.  A good friend told me "Surround yourself with perfect people, work in Primary."  I began to see my job in nursery as a real calling, not just one to keep people such as myself from enjoying church. 

As I began to see the importance of finding meaning in my calling I began to feel the Spirit bear witness to me of my Heavenly Father's love of me. When I'd tell those beautiful children that Jesus loved them and they were children of our Heavenly Father, and that families could be together forever, I felt my Savior's love for me. 

That's not to say that it was all easy now, there were still days that were difficult as there are when you're a parent.  You love your children, but some days are just hard. There would still be days when a child or children would come in crying and upset.  But there is nothing like having a child that has had a very difficult time coming to nursery gradually stop crying and be able to come into nursery without parents by his/her side every moment, to then enjoying being in nursery and even recognizing me in the halls or in Sacrament Meeting and smiling at me. 

Being able to hear a child pray for the first time in nursery was such a tender thing to hear.  Their prayers  are so sweet and innocent.  Kids may say and do the darnedest things but they really are sinless, beautiful children of our Heavenly Father.

Being called to nursery is not a means by which our Heavenly Father punishes us.  Christ said "Suffer the little children and forbid them not, for such is the kingdom of Heaven." I haven't always done my best in my calling, but those sweet children have taught me more then I've ever been able to teach them.

It's for that reason when I was released from my calling in the nursery on Sunday, even after three years there, it was bittersweet.  Dear children, I hope you know you are loved.  I hope and pray that what I was able to do was enough.